Change Negative Thoughts!

Last month's topic on boundaries has led to some interesting dialogue between friends and family. Setting boundaries is one piece of the puzzle, but how do you eliminate that little voice in your head that says "you’re stupid, no one wants to be around you if you do that, you’re fat, eat this it will take the pain away, no one loves you, you’re ugly, other people have more to offer than you do, you'll never amount to anything" or any other negative thoughts that bombard your mind at any given moment.

How do you change negative thoughts? If I had the cure I would be off enjoying my horse, or swimming in Hawaii, or something fun, and have an assistant writing this newsletter from scribbled notes. Everyone reacts differently and not the same things work for each person.

During dinner with a friend this week, she shared about a pod-cast she heard of Oprah interviewing Byron Katie.

I had not heard of Katie, but was intrigued. She recanted Katie's 4 questions that can change your life. As I listened, it was obvious they had made an impact on her. The questions were: Do you know it's true? Can you absolutely know it's true? How do you react when you believe that thought? Who would you be without that thought?

Pretty straight forward and simple huh? Well, they are, but they're not always easy to answer or to ask of yourself when a negative thought enters your mind. In pondering the questions, I felt I needed to add a few more questions. I also don't believe it's necessary to ask or answer them in any given order:

• Do you know this thought is true?
• Does this thought belong to you?
• If not, who does it belong to?
• Can you absolutely know it to be true?
• How do you react when you believe that thought?
• How is listening to this thought serving you right now in your life?
• Who would you be without that thought?
• What thought might serve you better now and in the future?

When a negative thought creeps in to steal some joy, fun or laughter from your life, look at the questions above, start with the one you are drawn to most, and work though the rest or just a few.

Personally I believe the power is in recognizing your reactions, learning about the power you've given up to these negative thoughts and replacing them with a new thought that will increase your happiness and joy.

Changing a negative thought takes time, patience and reinforcement of a "new positive thought".

Give it a whirl…. What do you have to lose, but a negative thought and some behaviors you might like to eradicate from your life.